The Best Animal Dildos for 2023
If you are looking to add a little wildness to your sex toy adventures then 2023 is shaping up to be a great year! Over the past few months, we have seen some gggrrr-eat Animal Dildo releases and we are all set for more roar-ingly awesome toys before the year ends. From the sexy stables of giant horse dildos to the conjugal kennels of copycat canine cocks, 2023 has something for every animal lover out there.
So without further adieu, here is our guide to the best Animal Dildos for 2023 that would make even the kinkiest nature documentary maker blush.
Before we even get started, let us confess that this is the first of three ejaculating dildos in our top 5 list and to be honest, we could have filled the list with these squirting sex toys. We absolutely love ejaculating dildos and the Hell Hound is without a doubt one of the very best we have ever seen.
Measuring up at an eye-watering 27.5cm in length, the Hell Hound is designed to reach deep DEEP inside and hit all your most elusive pleasure spots. Not only that, but it also has a respectable 5.5cm girth for a little hole stretching fullness.
The Hell Hound comes in stunning pink premium-grade platinum silicone with a flat head, ultra vein-textured shaft and double knot. However, the real selling point is, of course, its phenomenal squirting capabilities which will allow you to play out all your cumshot fantasies.
It may be named the Hell Hound but this is a dildo straight from Heaven!
The Shire Horse comes from the same Ejaculating Dildo range as the Hell Hound so the first thing you will notice is that collection’s trademark vivid pink colour. In addition, the Shire Horse boasts the same squirting functions with a massive internal reservoir and hand pump for easy use.
As well as its squirting capabilities, perfect for breeding your own thoroughbreds and playing out all your stablehand fantasies, the Shire Horse boasts a massive size to pay homage to the mighty steed it is named after. It is made from platinum silicone so it looks a feels amazing but it is really the lifelike design that makes it stand out from the naughty crowd. The Shire Horse has a 25cm long and 5.3cm wide shaft that is heavily textured with ridges, veins and a triple rib and sits proudly erect on a horse balls suction cup base.
A true bedroom stallion for some serious bedroom galloping!
Canine Dildos are some of the most popular toys in the Animal Dildo world and the Miele is a beautiful new release that has got us seriously excited! Its 21cm length may not be the longest on this list but the Miele certainly makes up for these…shortcomings…with its massive 6.2cm diameter. It is finished in a stunning rippled chocolate colour which all the Canine Dildos in this range are sporting and which makes them some of the most beautiful sex toys we have come across.
But we didn’t pick the Miele because of its colour. We chose it because of its unmatched ergonomically erotic design. The Miele’s shaft is an absolute treasure trove of pleasure opportunities with classic veins and ridges, a realistic semi-exposed head and double circumferential ribs for extra internal stimulation. All of this protrudes from a giant canine balls suction cup base which along with its firm but flexible design means you can ride the Miele Canine Dildo with your hands waving totally free.
A canine dildo that proves dogs really are a person’s best friend!
Named after the Norse Horse God, Srepnia, this squirting dildo truly is mythical in both size and performance. At a snake-like 27cm in length, you could almost be forgiven for thinking the Srepnia is quite a thin dildo but that’s just because it is so long, the 5.3cm diameter isn’t obviously apparent at first sight. However, once you started experimenting with this bad boy, you will quickly feel every millimetre of that massive girth.
The Srepnia comes from the same collection as the Hell Hound and the Shire Horse so you can expect the same high- materials, construction and vivid pink colour. But what really distinguishes it from the other toys in that range is its textured design as rather than the realistic veins and helmets you get with most dildos in the collection, the Srepnia is completely ribbed from base to flat head. This provides the ultimate penetrative sensations which along with its serious squirting abilities and hand pump for easy use, make the Srepnia an absolute pleasure factory.
A dildo to make Zeus and Aphrodite hot under their togas!
The Ringo comes from the same amazing Canine Dildo range as the Miele which means it has the same gorgeous rippled chocolate colour. It weighs in at 26.3cm in length, and as if that wasn’t impressive enough, pales in comparison to the Ringo’s truly titanic 7.4cm diameter at its girthiest point.
The Ringo has a giant double knot, a fully exposed pointed head, multiple circumferential ribs and a massive canine balls suction cup base to complete what is truly a monster of an Animal Dildo. The Ringo may not be able to squirt itself but when a dildo is as jam-packed with pleasure potential as this one, you can bet that there will still be plenty of squirting going on.
The Ringo may well be named after the least popular Beatle but it is definitely one of our Fab Five!
And there you have it, our top 5 picks for the best animal dildos for 2023. We have to admit, that even though we love reviewing sex toys (it’s not exactly the most stressful job on the planet!), the number of awesome new releases makes choosing our favourites harder and harder each year. We hope this list has given you a little Animal Dildo inspiration and we look forward with bated breath to see what 2024 has in store!